fu2
Loyal Citizen
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Devourer of Infants
C is for cookie. This was brought to you by the number 2. For the cuts on each wrist.
Posts: 114
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Post by fu2 on Sept 30, 2006 21:49:02 GMT -5
None of these gods will ever be used for anything (I hope) I was just bored and wanted to put something stupid on the forums.
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fu2
Loyal Citizen
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Devourer of Infants
C is for cookie. This was brought to you by the number 2. For the cuts on each wrist.
Posts: 114
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Post by fu2 on Sept 30, 2006 22:29:27 GMT -5
Smitimus Maximus (Greater Joke God) Lord Combustion, Smiter of all Things, King Mayhem Symbol: A humanoid completely covered by flames that appears to be screaming Alignment: Chaotic Neutral Portfolio: Spontaneous Human Combustion, Smiting, Random acts of Destruction, Everything Explosive (Including, but not limited to, fireballs and bad diarrhea), daisies Domains: Destruction, Chaos, Fire, Plant Favored Weapon: "The Great Smiting Rod" (His Penis)
A being that makes absolutely no sense, Smitimus Maximus (Smite-i-muss Macks-i-muss) is mainly known for his acts of causing people to randomly immolate at the most inopportune times. He is usually depicted as a humanoid wearing nothing but fire and a horned viking helmet with a daisy sticking out of it and hitting things with his enormous penis, which is also on fire.
The church of Smitimus could hardly be called as such, since there really isn't much of an establishment of his religion. He has clergy, but they're usually insane, since it is impossible to make sense of the diety. Usually, people that try to understand him end up exploding in a spectacular display of fire and gore. Another reason that his religion is not really established is because he doesn't need worshippers. As he has been known for even causing gods to explode. It is not known why he does this, many scholars speculate that he does things like this simply because he's bored. Some speculate that he intends to overthrow the Unnamed One and take his place. However, this is impossible, as Smitimus is incapable of the mental focus required for any type of plan, let alone one of such complexity. He is usually distracted by a daisy after one of his rampages, then forgets why he did it in the first place. When he doesn't feel like causing people to randomly explode, he usually just curses them with explosive diarrhea. This has made him -extremely- unpopular amongst the other gods. Many believe that his antics with causing diarrhea among the gods has resulted in more than one mountain range.
His clerics pray for spells whenever they feel like it, as he hasn't set any rules for his clergy. His clergy and followers only have one thing in common, and that is they are all either highly chaotic, or just simply praying to him so that they are not smited.
History/Relationships: A being that was formed when The Unnamed One destroyed his first rendition of the universe. Smitimus has been an annoyance to the gods ever since. Possibly the one responsible for the deaths of many of the old, forgotten dieties, including the one that Luserina stole her portfolio from. He has no allies, as he is known to hit the other gods with his penis when they get too close.
Dogma: Explosions are cool, and so is watching people burn. Wow, my wang is huge. The ladies all love it. What was I talking about? Dogma? What the hell is that? Get outta here! Ooh, a daisy. What? Still here? Taste the wrath of my flaming yogurt cannon!
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